Toleratating myself

There were times, during my life
When my tolerance knew no bounds
Accepting all the negativity around me
Drawing the flow of harm, handling it
Making sure those around, are happy
Unwilling to allow any harmful events
Touching their lives, handling it all alone
Putting others before myself, regardless
Of the consequences that befell my life
Self destructing, uncaring of myself
Believing with all my heart, undeserving
Of any positive that life has to offer
In an endless circle, time and time again
Slowly the realization of reality sets in
Revealing the truth and reasons of why
As much as it hurts, taken advantage of
Misunderstanding my acts for weakness
Taking for granted, everything thats me
These thoughts never entered my head
Being used by others, being stupid for it
Doesn’t matter at all, I did it for myself
Makes me happy, seeing others happy
In my mind, everyone deserve happiness
Everyone except me, that I didn’t matter

As time went on, age and wisdom arrive
Catching up with me, finally
Leaving me with nothing, not even hope
Pushing everyone away, isolating myself
Locking away the doors of emotions
In my heart and soul, void of emotions
In the darkness, my greatest challenge
Lessons which I learnt, changed forever
In order to lift the darkness, into light
Knowing myself became the main focus
Crawling out from the pits of hell
Required the correct reasons; motivation
Impossible to succeed, doing it for others
One must do it for themselves, their own
Otherwise there’s no point, better to stay

The strength that came, was powerful
Fighting each step, desperately wanting
To see the light once more, to live again
First battle for myself, for me alone
Awoken things within, never knew existed
True battle, was discovering who I am
Fighting for the person that’s me
Knowing myself
Accepting myself
Acknowledging in myself
Trusting in myself
Believing in myself
Being at peace with myself
That is my true battle, always had been
Always will be, gaining true purpose
Purpose of a life’s journey
Is to know thyself

Tan Nguyen

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2 thoughts on “Tolerating myself

  1. There was a time in my life too, that i’d placed EVERYBODY else’s needs before my own, and, i ended up suffering for it, and learned, that i needed to put myself first, because nobody is going to, and, after i’d taken care of me, i have the strength, as well as the mind, to take care of others. So, taking care of oneself first is NOT selfish at all, it’s a MUST!

    Liked by 1 person

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