Feelings of anticipation

As the morning sun rises,
Lights begun reflecting on armours,
At the head of an army,
There sat Julius Caesar,
The greatest general of all time.

What would it be like, being him,
Sitting upon a horse,
In front of an army, that loves him,
Men already standing,
In battle formation,
What was going through his mind?

The opposite army approaches,
They are now within sight,
Holding onto the fears,
Of seeing so many horses and men,
Being a leader, being composed,
Refusing to let the fears and doubts,
Surfacing, showing on the face,
Remaining absolutely confident in victory,
Boosting the morale of the men you lead.

Does thoughts of death,
Cross his mind at all,
How many of his men shall die,
Does he feel sadden by it,
Does pride have a place,
What else would fill his mind,
The anticipation would be terrible,
Feeling no warmth from the sun,
Studying the enemies formation,
Rearranging the formation,
As weaknesses are spotted,
Many lives are depended on his judgements.

As the army closes the gap,
Maybe after many such battles,
The nervousness, the pressure,
Would be a normal feeling,
When everything is done,
When there’s nothing else to change,
Nothing left to better prepare,
Except for the command to charge.

What makes a man,
Being responsible for so many,
Many lives are in their hands,
Coping with the pressure,
The guilt of it all,
Handling so much, on one’s shoulder,
Having so many responsibilities,
Having so many looking to you for answers,
Being the strength that holds them together,
Looking into eyes,
With so much hope in them,
Such tremendous expectations,
How does anyone, handle so much,
Are people born like this?
Or is it something learnt.

Written by Tan Nguyen
23rd of December 2015

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