More than my own enemy

Written by Tan Nguyen
18/01/2016

The most difficult thing in life,
Is accept and to love oneself,
It’s the hardest thing to ever do,
Especially if the persons mind set,
Is similar to my own,
Believing oneself unworthy.

Throughout my entire life time,
I never deemed myself worthy,
To put myself before anyone else,
Rather seeing others happy,
Than being happy myself,
Always with the negative thoughts,
Especially when it’s about myself.

Automatically on auto destruction,
Especially when things are good,
When good fortune comes my way,
Feeling myself having no values,
Worthless and a waste of space,
Breathing in the air all around,
Felt I was stealing, taking things,
Which wasn’t mine to take,
Undeserving of even the basics.

No one else would hate me more,
There’s not a person that’s alive,
That would hate me for all eternity,
With the same passion of hate,
As I truly hate being in my own skin.

I am my worst ever enemy,
Destroying myself from within,
Tearing open my bleeding heart,
Ripping my soul into tiny threads,
Causing myself more and more harm,
Each and everyday of my life.

There’s not a person alive today,
That hates me more than myself,
Even my enemies shown me mercy,
They even shown me kindness,
I am my worst enemy,
Now I know this to be true.

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10 thoughts on “More than my own enemy

  1. You are an amazing wordsmith …from the heart …a rare thing:):):):)
    You really SHOULD learn to love yourself ….you are very young ….and one day I believe life will bring you everything you wish for …not by searching too hard …it will just come to you one day ….don’t search for pain …search for love ..starting with that of yourself …you are a TRULY lovely boy …your words are of the soul …I hope my sons grow to be as reflective and creative as you:):):):)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I know exactly where you are if this is a true telling of your story. You can come through it if you want to get there. Epressing through this medium i a good start, I wrote a 680,000 word epic expose of myself and although nobody has ever read it, it the cathartic and dso worth the effort. keep writing if nothing else but try to find the smile that is inside us all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Writing does help like nothing else has. Its been through writing that has helped me express myself better emotionally. It has opened a lot of doors for me. But it has also unleashed a flood of emotions which is barely in checked

      Liked by 1 person

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