What can I say? Your mind and emotions are like a rollacoaster ride. It seems like a million thoughts are running through your mind, unable to focus on anything for long periods of time.
It is only recently that you had begun to open up. Instead of letting all those emotions building up, until you erupted. I know that is what you normally do, that your releasing your emotions through writing. Its a good thing to try new things, so far it has been working really well.
I know your afraid to open up to others and leaving yourself exposed. You know there are risked in everything. The good and the bad in every situations. You just need to defined the differences between them and work accordingly. You have seen for yourself though, to withdraw within yourself, your missing out on many things. Closing yourself from the world and not letting anything in. That also applies both ways.
Shutting out the bad things in your life, you also shut out the good things. Your missing out on experiencing life to the fullest. Sadness is shut out, also happiness is too. Learn to deal with emotions in a positive way, yes I know theres a risked of being hurt. Theres also a risk of not being hurt and being happy. I would say thats a risked worth taking.
Your still new at expressing your emotions, don’t rush it though. Don’t force yourself and let to come naturally. Keep on writing and it will flow. Relax and breathe once in a while, there’s no time limit that it must be done. You have the rest of your life to do so. Take it at your own pace, afterall your writing for yourself right?