All The Wrong Reasons

Written by Tan Nguyen
28/01/2016

Whenever I see my name,
Written in news articles,
I feel ashamed of my past,
Guilt which has never disappeared,
Nor eased as time goes by.

Whenever I see myself on television,
I don’t like the person I see,
Hating that person more than anything,
Never hated anyone more than myself,
Wishing I wasn’t me.

Age doesn’t excused the wrongs,
The mistakes I have done,
Nor does immaturity is be blamed,
Only person to blamed is myself,
The amount of pain I have caused,
Towards my family and the one I loved.

My name written in news articles,
Myself being on television many times,
Being famous for the wrong reasons,
Wishing the past shall disappear,
Reality will always be there,
No matter what I do with my life,
The pain will always be there.

Being famous for all the wrong reasons,
Being known for all the wrong reasons,
Tried to changed that many times,
Ending up with heart break and tears,
The feelings of sadness shall be there,
Like a shadow that follows me everywhere,
Where ever I go it shall be near me,
Whatever I do it will remind me,
Always lurking in the background,
Pulling me backwards,
As soon as I moved forward,
Unable to let me go on,
Holding me down with it’s weight.

Being known for all the wrong reasons,
Can’t escaped the past no matter what,
Learning to accept the person I am,
Hard to do when hatred is powerful,
Unable to look myself in the mirror,
Everything I do always falling short,
What hurts the most,
What pains me the most,
I know within myself,
Can never forgive myself,
The hatred is too powerful,
To love myself,
Not even a little bit at all,
All the wrong reasons,
Have I became me.

The end

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