Insane

Written by Tan Nguyen
31/01/2016

Questions always circling my mind,
Unable to leave me alone for awhile,
If I am honest in my accessment,
Judging myself without bias thoughts,
If someone were to asked,
If I thought myself to be insane,
The honest answer would be yes I am.

There’s a missing part of me,
When I turned myself from the world,
Denying anyone entry into my life,
I didn’t realised the impact,
The damages it has caused,
Affecting me still to this very day,
Mending what’s broken shall take time.

Falling into the realm of depression,
Closing down my emotions,
Refusing to take part anymore,
Into the world I once known and lived,
Feelings and emotions were hurting,
Unbearable as the waves kept coming,
Until finally I closed my doors,
Making my emotions go away,
Not feeling anything anymore.

Almost two years has passed,
Still feeling dazed and numbed,
My thoughts had led me to discover,
Indeed a part of me has died that day,
Shutting my feelings and emotions,
Foolish in thinking no consequences,
Would ever come out of this decision,
Its has been hard to regained to feel,
Feel anything at all for awhile,
Slowly regaining the emotions,
The feelings which I threw away.

Slowly gaining lost emotions,
Starting to feel once again,
When recovery was completed,
It didn’t feel as if everything returned,
Feelings and emotions felt like,
It was only half way full,
Waiting for the rest to show itself,
Yet nothing more came at all.

Lost something important those days,
Only regaining half of the things,
Which I threw away so easily,
It was something I must bare,
A decision which I had made,
Shutting myself from the world,
Losing more than I ever thought,
It’s the price I must pay alone,
My lost, no one elses.

The end

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4 thoughts on “Insane

  1. That describes a painful healing journey beautifully. But that is not the only reason I awarded you with the Versatile Blogger Award.

    http://beehalton.com/2016/01/seven-facts-about-bee-and-award.html

    I awarded you because I believe you have an excellent blog and I want to introduce it to my readers. This award is great for that.

    But I also know that awards are a lot of work, and they do not fit in every blog. So feel free to take part if it tempts you and if not go on with what you do best: Your blog!!!!!!

    Like

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